In August 2024, I was astonished by my DNA test results. They shattered the narrative I had grown up with, radically altering received ideas of self, family, ethnicity, and ancestry; even of country. The initial shock was alienating, but I was also curious about the new ethnicities on my heritage map.

One of my most surprising DNA discoveries was the extent of my European heritage. After Asia, most of my DNA is Balkan Roma. Often referred to as Europe’s forgotten people, the Roma are one of Europe’s most marginalised groups. With future plans to explore the Balkans, my more immediate journey of discovery commenced much closer to home, in the country where I live: England. That was when I first learnt about Appleby Horse Fair.

My immediate question was: Where is Appleby? I realised straight away how my newly-discovered ethnic diversity would lead me into unknown terrain. To learn more about my Roma descent, I would have to travel to a remote part of northwest England, to visit a fair I’d never heard of, in a place I’d never been to; or so I thought, until I looked it up on the map.

By the time I started scouting for accommodation in early 2025, Appleby and the surrounding villages were already fully booked. Lacking the skills to tow a caravan from London and across England to set up on Fair Hill, the nearest feasible accommodation I could find was 25km away, in the small Cumbrian village of Greystoke. The village has ties to the legend of Tarzan through Greystoke Castle, and to the Church of England through St Andrew’s Church. I immediately seized up.

For forty years, my unwritten life was of the child sex abuse I experienced at the hands of priests from the Church of England in South Africa. Since breaking my silence about the abuse in 2018, long-suppressed memories have started coming to the surface. This feels like finding pieces of a puzzle decades after they were lost. It is a disconcerting experience, because these lost pieces can pop up suddenly to ambush one in the most unanticipated of ways, like when one is booking a holiday to a horse fair up north. Situated on the edge of England’s largest national park, Lake District National Park, the rural village of Greystoke lies in quintessentially green and pleasant English land. Yet my stomach churned at the realisation that I had in fact visited the area thirty-five years before, because that was a journey I had trained myself to forget.

In 1982, the American travel writer, William Least Heat-Moon, famously wrote in his classic travel memoir, Blue Highways: “when you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” It is a seminal quote, but not necessarily an all-encompassing one. To start exploring the Roma part of my complex ancestry, my journey to Appleby via Greystoke would be usurped by unexpected yesterdays. It felt as though two intense journeys were now unfolding at once: summer 2025 against the backdrop of summer 1990, when I visited Greystoke with one of my abusers, the Welsh Anglican priest, Keith Thomas. To cope with the prospect, I did what I had become accustomed to doing; I closed the door to those abusive yesterdays, and focused my attention on the reason for my trip: the 249th Appleby Horse Fair.

The fair takes place annually during the first week of June in the market town of Appleby-in-Westmorland in Cumbria. It was set up under a royal charter by James II in 1685, although the first fair took place in 1775. Almost 250 years later, it has grown into one of the biggest annual events in Cumbria, and one of the largest GRT gatherings in Europe. The fair draws around 10,000 people from the GRT community in addition to an estimated 30,000 visitors. They travel to the fair from all over the British Isles and Europe.

Appleby fair is a vibrant event showcasing GRT traditions and culture. The main activities include horse washing in the Eden River, horse trading, and trotting at speed along Long Marton Road, or the “Flashing Lane” where the horses are shown off or “flashed” at potential buyers and spectators. There are also traditional storytelling and music events in various locations around the town, as well as a market selling food and various equestrian items on Fair Hill, a short distance from the town centre.

Appleby Horse Fair is not an organised event with a structured schedule. Rather, it is an informal gathering of people from GRT communities. There is no programme and no charge. Everybody is welcome, including families with children. Despite the bad weather and heavy rain, the fair drew a near-record number of visitors in 2025.

Following my childhood abuse in the church, I flinch at the sound of choral music, especially hymns like Jerusalem. Even though William Blake himself was not a nationalist but a radical, his poem has been appropriated by the classical music establishment, and groups with patriotic nationalist identities. The poem came to mind at the start of my trip, with reference to “Englands green & pleasant Land”. It resurfaced again at the end, but in relation to an earlier line: “I will not cease from Mental Fight”. Before leaving Greystoke, my determination to persevere and fight on compelled me to visit the locations of my first stay in the village in 1990.

These are painful yesterdays, for which I’ll only provide the top lines. We were visiting friends of Thomas’ who lived in Greystoke. I have forgotten their names, but they were a welcoming and hospitable couple.

The husband was quiet. I recall a story about him never having been to London. In fact, if memory serves, he had never slept outside Greystoke, only travelling as far during the day as would permit him to return to sleep in his own bed at night. I marvelled at such a life, because there I was, having travelled 10,000km from Cape Town to be a guest under his roof.

His wife was more talkative. She commented on my “exotic olive complexion”. As I recall, she’d spent that morning arranging flowers in Greystoke Castle for an upcoming local event. The meal she prepared included Yorkshire pudding. This recollection lingers because it’s the first memory I have of eating this peculiar dish.

The couple were parishioners at St Andrew’s. During a tour of the church, she spoke about the key role it had played during the English Reformation. She pointed out a door, or a wooden panel, that bore the axe marks of Thomas Cromwell’s men. Maybe it has since been moved, or maybe my memory has faltered, or maybe it was because I didn’t want to stay and scout around the church for too long, but I could not find the door, or the wooden panel.

I walked around the churchyard. I couldn’t remember whether we’d done so back in 1990. I’d be surprised if my guests were still alive today; they were already elderly back then. I studied the names on the newer gravestones to see if they might jog my memory. They didn’t. Instead, I noticed how young many of the dead in St Andrew’s churchyard were.

Upon leaving the church, I wondered if I would be able to find their house. I walked back down Church Road, then turned left onto Icold Road. I recall that they lived in one of the bungalows on the right. Thirty-five years later, I do believe I located the exact one. I paused outside it for a moment, but again I did not linger. I did not want to draw attention to myself. I did not want to remember too much. I simply returned to my car, and drove back to London.

During my first visit to Appleby Horse Fair, I feel I’ve barely skimmed the surface of this unique historic event. I hope to return to Appleby for the 250th horse fair in 2026, making sure to book my accommodation in the town more promptly. But who knows; I might even have taken up caravaning by then, in which case, I’ll see you on Fair Hill.

Related:
Gypsy, Roma and Irish Traveller ethnicity summary - GOV.UK Ethnicity facts and figures
New study launched to better understand Roma communities | National Statistical
Friends, Families, and Travellers
Gypsy Roma and Traveller History Month | The Traveller Movement
Watch 60 days with the gypsies | stream free on Channel 4
Watch The Romanians Are Coming | Stream free on Channel 4
BBC Three - Stacey Dooley, Growing Up Gypsy
ROMA SUPPORT GROUP - Home